Magical History Tour: Silly Signs

The only low point of my history vacation was my tour of the Battle of Lynchburg. Unlike other Civil War battlefields I've toured, none of this battlefield was the same. It was hard to imagine soldiers marching through a field when the field is now a K-Mart parking lot.

Still, there was a bright spot to the tour: some ridiculous signs. First, the sign in the battlefield's visitors' center:

This appears to be helpful; however, the parking lot I pulled into looked like this:

Thank goodness there was extra parking. The inside of the visitors' center was even more ridiculous. I tried to buy a battlefield audio car guide from a man who I thought worked there...since he was the only other person in the building. Apparently, the center was actually closed. The man was preparing for a Civil-War-era music concert he was playing there that night. He was nice enough to take my $10 anyway. He even broke my 20.

One of the stops on the Battle of Lynchburg tour is now a synagogue. I don't remember what that parking lot was during the Civil War, but I do remember what the "No Parking" sign looks like now.

Take my advice: Thou shalt not waste $10 on a tour of the Battle of Lynchburg.

Magical History Tour: Montpelier

On the last day of my historical odyssey, I visited the home of James Madison, fourth president of the United States, father of the Constitution and good friend of Thomas Jefferson.

James Madison grew up at Montpelier, then a vast tobacco plantation. He spent much time there before, during and after his two terms as president. Madison spent hours in an upstairs study, surrounded by newspapers and books. Just as Jefferson served as Secretary of State for John Adams before becoming president himself, so Madison was Jefferson's Secretary of State. Also like Jefferson, Madison consequently spent a great amount of time in France. And while Monticello is heavy with French architecture thanks to Jefferson, so our Constitution is heavy with French enlightenment thanks to Madison. When all was said and done, Madison was the primary author of the Preamble to the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and he was responsible for our three branches of government and their system of checks and balances. Still, some of Jefferson's French architectural influences are present at Montpelier, especially the dome over his "temple," which doubled as an ice house.


After his presidency, Madison continued to philosophize with his good friends, especially Jefferson. They spent many hours traveling the 30 miles or so between their two homes, a journey that took about a day in the early 1800's. The two men even had reproductions of the same painting of Mary Magdelene in their parlors. When I first arrived at the end of Montpelier's driveway, I imagined that Jefferson must have been very acquainted with the same view.


James and Dolley Madison entertained hundreds of other guests every year at Montpelier. Even when he was too old to walk up and down the stairs, Madison lived in a study near the dining room, and was wheeled next door during meals to discuss politics and philosophy. The back lawn of Montpelier was also filled with activity, from games to barbeques, all of which were overseen by the plantation's significant enslaved population. Madison's first-floor study was the large window on the lower right of the picture below, so even when he was too weak to go outside, he was still able to be part of the excitement.


Unlike Jefferson's Monticello, whose later owners recognized its historical significance (and left it alone!), the subsequent owners of Montpelier completely restructured the building. When it was finally willed to the U.S. government from the DuPont family in the 1980's, historians had to remove two wings that had been added and move door frames and fireplaces to their rightful places in the home. So while Monticello still looks just as it did in Jefferson's day, much of Montpelier is still being excavated. The architectural restoration is complete, but historians continue to hunt for historically accurate furniture and excavate the yards.


James Madison was the last of the Founding Fathers to pass away. In earlier years, three of the five Founding Fathers died on July 4th: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson on July 4, 1826 and James Monroe on July 4, 1831. As Madison was nearing the end of his life in June, 1836, his doctors wanted to give him medicine to keep him alive until July 4th. Madison replied that he entered the world naturally, and he intended to leave the same way. Ultimately, he died in his study on June 28, 1836, less than a week shy of Independence Day.

Though Dolley moved away from Montpelier soon after James died, the spirit of the Madisons remains on the back lawn. There, visitors can join John and Dolley in one of their favorite leisure activities, perfect for traveling English teachers.

(Those statutes are life-size, by the way. I would have fit in SO well with the Madisons.)

Magical History Tour: Appomattox Court House

On the second day of my vacation, I spent the morning in the town of Appomattox Court House, Virginia, site of the end of the Civil War.

The war never should have lasted as long as it did, but it labored on for years thanks in large part to the leadership of General Robert E. Lee. But he became outmatched when Lincoln appointed General Ulysses S. Grant to lead the Union army. Grant was aggressive, and he sent troops into the heart of Confederate strongholds. The Union army may not have been successful in Appomattox Court House, but a communication error left the Confederate soldiers without a renewed food supply. After a week of hard fighting, Lee surrendered to Grant on April 9, 1865.

There weren't many buildings in this small town in which to house two generals and their staffs. Moreover, there just weren't that many people in town at the time, what with a battle raging just a few miles away. They were finally able to use the home of Wilmer McLean:


Mr. McLean left his previous home in Manassas, Virginia, when the First Battle of Bull Run destroyed much of his kitchen and fireplace. Ironically, his desire to escape the Civil War brought the surrender to his front parlor:

General Grant brought just one or two men with him, and he sat at the large marble table on the left:

General Lee was flanked by an army of supporters (pun very much intended), but he was relegated to the smaller wooden table:

After the generals left the McLeans' home, other soldiers immediately realized the historical significance of what just happened, and they took anything that wasn't bolted down. Just a few years later, also recognizing the home's historical significance, historians dismantled the house brick by brick so that it could be preserved (more Civil War irony) in Washington, D.C. Unfortunately, funds dried up quickly, and the house was left in a pile until the mid-20th Century when the town was named a National Historic Park and the house was reconstructed.

The surrender was an incredibly generous one. Lee was not forced to give up his sword, and every member of the Confederate army was given a pass to travel home without being harmed. Over the next several days, the passes were printed in the town's tavern:

Though generous, the surrender did call for the Confederate army to lay down their arms. They marched down the main street of Appomattox Court House and presented guns, flags, etc. By all accounts, the Union forces were quietly respectful of the brothers they had been fighting against just a week before.

Addition for my mom: this picture of the Appomattox Court House court house (now a very informative visitors' center)

Magical History Tour: Monticello

Last week, I took advantage of my delightful summer schedule and visited a few historical hotspots that I'd been wanting to see since we moved here. I spent three days in and around Charlottesville, Virginia. I spent my first day at Monticello, the beautiful home of Thomas Jefferson.


"Monticello" means "Little Mountain" in Italian. The house is built on the top of a mountain, completely unheard of at the time it was built. Jefferson was raised in a home at the base of the mountain, but he loved spending time at the top of it as a child. When his father died and Jefferson inherited the land, he (read: slaves) leveled the mountain and built a house on top of it.

Jefferson was an avid reader. He once wrote, "I cannot live without books," and "...read good books because they will encourage as well as direct your feelings." He would visit this little shelter in the middle of his mile-long garden to read and watch the sun set.


I couldn't take photos of much of the interior of Monticello, but I was able to take photos inside the iconic dome. Before he became president, Jefferson was Ambassador to France and Secretary of State, so he spent much time in Europe. Jefferson modeled Monticello after the buildings in Europe, many of which had domes. The dome of Monticello served little purpose other than to be an architectural marvel.

That dome is most usually viewed from the back lawn of Monticello, and this view was reason enough for Jefferson to construct it.

It was the first dome built in the United States, and it inspired the domes of the U.S. Capitol and the University of Virginia. As the University's founder, Jefferson oversaw its construction from the porch of Monticello. His influence is pretty obvious.

Jefferson modeled much of the little details of Monticello after European influences as well, from his dumbwaiter...

To his 16-foot-deep ice house...

To his deceptive windows. One-story houses were stylish in Europe, so Jefferson made his three-story home look like it was only one story by playing with the windows.

Even the beds at Monticello were influenced by the French. Instead of free-standing beds, residents and visitors to Monticello slept in cubbies to preserve the room's architecture and use of space.

Jefferson wanted to preserve space elsewhere in Monticello as well. He thought that a grand staircase would only suck up space, so he included two of these high, narrow staircases instead.

Perhaps the most important lesson Jefferson learned in France was the art of French cooking. More accurately, the enslaved members of his household learned the art of French cooking.

They would catch fish from the river at the base of the mountain and preserve them in this pond until they were ready to cook them.

They also learned how to brew beer and make wine.

All of this took place in the tunnels under Monticello, or the "Crossroads."

When Jefferson died, he was buried on the grounds of Monticello. He didn't want his presidency to be included on his epitaph, as he never particularly enjoyed being president. Instead, he asked to be remembered as the author of the Declaration of Independence and the Statute of Virginia for Religious Freedom (which allowed Virginians to practice any religion...or no religion) and as the founder of the University of Virginia.

44 vs. XLIV

There was an article in The New Yorker this week about one of the most fascinating convergences of Americana I've ever seen: U.S. Presidents and Super Bowls. There have been, after all, 44 of each, so it was only a matter of time before someone decided to face them against each other. That time has arrived with the "America Bowl."

I could try to explain its genius, but I really can't do it justice. This is how the site's author, Don Steinberg, describes the contest:

"There have been 44 presidents in U.S. history, and on February 7, 2010, the 44th Super Bowl game will be played. For the only time in history, America's greatest institutions will be all even with each other.

"But which have been better? Our Super Bowl games? Or our Presidents? Finally, we can find out!

"Each day, for 44 days leading up to Super Bowl 44, America Bowl will match a President against the same-numbered Super Bowl game. Each day one will win -- and score a point.

"It will all come to a head on February 7, when Super Bowl XLIV is matched against 44th President Barack Obama. Will it all come down to who wants it more on that last game day? Keep checking in here to find out!"

As the article notes, the criteria for these 44 matches is vague, but that doesn't make the contests any less entertaining. Steinberg's wit and knowledge of both history and sports culture makes this page worth bookmarking--at least for the next 23 days.

Vegas Highlights 3: Hoover Dam

This tour definitely made up for all the historical tours I've taken Matt on over the years. In fact, I probably still owe him a few engineering/math tours, since Hoover Dam is as much about the New Deal and the Depression as it is about the engineering. Overall, it was a great dam day (and that is the first, last and only "dam" joke you'll read here).

Governor Palin? It's your editor on line 1.

I have to give a huge shout-out to Abbi who said "If we don't laugh, we'll cry" about this Vanity Fair posting. Ironically--or perhaps, appropriately--I laughed until I cried when I read it. Click the image for the full-size, three-page version.

In fairness to Governor Palin, I think most of us would sound like this if we spoke off the cuff. On the other hand, there are few things funnier to me than political humor and grammar humor. Throw them together with a touch of historical humor, and I'm down for the count.

Yes, I Am a Grammar Nazi

My students are reading Night by Elie Wiesel right now, so I use the above illusion hesitantly. I will say, however, that I wish I could use the video below in my class. Along with reading the book, we're also discussing the Holocaust and preparing for National Grammar Day festivities next Wednesday (Only 7 shopping days left! Don't wait until National Grammar Day Eve!). What a perfect marriage this is, if not for the vulgarity and questionable taste:



Mel Brooks once said that the best way to take revenge on Hitler's legacy was to laugh at him. Couple that with a series of grammar jokes, and I couldn't agree more.

"Life is a Battlefield," part III

We rounded out our trip to Pennsylvania last weekend with a visit to one more Civil War Battlefield. This time, we visited the battlefield mother lode: Gettysburg. Over 50,000 people were killed over the three-day battle in July of 1863, making Gettysburg the bloodiest battle of the Civil War (not to be confused with the bloodiest single day of the war, the Battle of Antietam).

One of the first parts of the battlefield we visited was McPherson Ridge, pictured in the photos below. The battle began here when the Confederate army pushed against the Union forces all day on July 1st. The Union held their ground for much of the day, but were ultimately pushed out.
80 years later, President Franklin D. Roosevelt dedicated an eternal flame peace memorial on McPherson Ridge. The memorial can be seen to the far right of the photo above and in detail in the photo below.

The battle continued on July 2nd with some of the bloodiest few hours ever fought on American soil. We were parked right in the middle of "The Wheatfield," where soldiers were fighting mere feet from each other. The field was so littered with bodies that the wheat was completely hidden from view. After the battle ended, neither side wanted to venture back to collect the bodies. So the few survivors hid themselves under fallen soldiers to keep from being eaten by the pigs who had escaped from the neighboring farm.

On July 2nd, the armies were nearly a mile apart on two parallel ridges. The Confederate armies fought all day to push through the Union strongholds, but they were unable to successfully do so. The view of the Union's view of this part of the battlefield was breathtaking, but sobering.

On July 3rd, the Confederates made one more valiant attempt to overtake the Union forces. Major General George E. Pickett led a mile-long line of 12,000 Confederate troops across the open field below to the waiting Union forces. The effort ended in disaster for the Confederates, but "Pickett's Charge" is still one of the most memorable moments of the Civil War.

My favorite part of our battlefield visits has been learning the individual stories that are such an important part of real history. At Gettysburg, for example, the 1st Minnesota, a relatively small group of untested men, performed one of the most critical actions of the battle during a Confederate assault on July 2nd. The Union line had been dangerously thinned, and the commanding Union General ordered the 1st Minnesota, the only organized Union troops at hand, directly into the fire of the advancing Confederates. Their sacrificial charge against overwhelming odds halted the Confederate advance and bought time for the Union line to reform, forcing General Lee into one last desperate gamble with Pickett's Charge the next day. A memorial to the fallen soldiers of the 1st Minnesota stands at the site of the assault:

Not far from the memorial to the 1st Minnesota stands a memorial statue to Rev. Father William Corby, C.S.C. Legend says that Rev. Corby prayed with Catholic and Protestant soldiers alike shortly before they headed for The Wheatfield. He offered absolution to the whole brigade, reminding them of their duties and warning them not to waver. A copy of this same memorial statue stands outside Corby Hall at the University of Notre Dame, where Rev. Corby was president from 1866-72 and 1877-81.