When Engineers Have Babies...

One of the few items Matt insisted we purchase for our then-unborn baby was a jumper that could be hung in a doorway.  He became pretty insistent about it, so we got one.

Now that August is sitting up on his own, we decided to let him give the jumper a go.  We realized when we took it out of the box that it had to be hung in a door frame.  That meant that the only places it would work were in bedroom doorways, not at all convenient for hanging out with our little dude.  And what's the point of having an August in the house if you can't have him around all the time?

I thought the jumper would have to go back.  Matt thought otherwise.  If a door frame in the kitchen was what we needed, then a door frame in the kitchen was what we would have.

August was grateful for his daddy's ingenuity.

And fascinated by it.

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

"I'd like to adopt a second identity.  I think I'd enjoy being a part of the criminal underground."

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

Matt and I are not big dessert eaters.  Matt especially dislikes anything that's too sweet.  So even when I make a pie or a cake, we always end up throwing at least a quarter of it away.  The other day Matt was lamenting the mold that had grown on a Baltimore Peach Cake I made just days before.

Matt: It's totally impossible for two people to eat an entire cake.  Impossible.

Rachel: Well, it's not possible for us, but maybe for some---

Matt: Impossible!

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

Matt and I were at a hardware store this weekend, searching for parts to he could jimmyrig his grill.  Nothing says "Scherer" like jimmyrigging something that involves gas and fire. 

Anyway, he looked around at the other customers, then looked at me with his sideways, contemplative look and said, "Judging by the number of crazy old guys around here, I'd say this is a pretty good hardware store."

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

Yesterday was definitely chili weather.  It rained all day, and the air was damp and miserable.  I made a big pot soon after I got home from school, and it was bubbling away when Matt got home from work. 

He walked in the door and asked, "Mmm... What smells so good?" 

"I made chili," I replied.

"Oh good," he said.  "I haven't farted enough today."

From Matthew, this is high praise indeed.

Fall Getaways

Without a doubt, fall is my favorite time of year.  Even though I know fall will eventually leave me and I'll have to take up a tumultuous affair with winter, I still love it.  Matt and I have taken advantage of this most wonderful of seasons with a few stereotypical autumn getaways.

We went apple-picking in Westminster, Maryland.

(and nearly risked our lives climbing trees)

And we celebrated our anniversary in Frederick, Maryland.  Since this was a milestone anniversary, Matt let me handle all the details.  I booked us a room at a wonderful bed and breakfast, much to my husband's chagrin, as evidenced here by his "this is what people who stay at bed and breakfasts look like" pose:

That night, we enjoyed a "Taste of Frederick," opting for drinks and appetizers at Volt, the trendy hotspot, and dinner at the more affordable and low-key (yet equally tasty) Acacia down the road.

Our waiter at Acadia was a rather uptight young man named Frank.  Matt thought it would be hilarious to say to him, "I have to be frank..." then say something ridiculous.  For the rest of the meal, every time he saw Frank coming, Matt would threaten to say something like, "I have to be frank: this food is terrible," or "I have to be frank: have you ever waited on anyone before?"  Thankfully, restraint won out.

The next day, we visited some of Frederick's historic covered bridges.  All "Madison County" jokes aside, they were nice.  Anything historical is always nice.  But they were just bridges.

This fall has been one of great family time with Matt.  I'm so lucky to have a husband who indulges my frou-frou whims and finds ways to laugh at the seemingly mundane.  Memories like these make our endless love affair with winter just a bit more bearable.

'Weather' or not, here comes our anniversary

I knew Matt and I were taking a weather gamble when we decided to get married in mid-October in Minnesota.  I told myself not to stress about something I couldn't control.  I calmed myself down by reminding myself that, even if the weather was terrible on our wedding day, we would still have 50 anniversaries to enjoy good weather. 

The week before our wedding was cold and rainy.  But October 15, 2005, was stunning: 70 degrees and sunny.  We couldn't have asked for a more perfect fall day.

Then came the first of those 50 anniversaries.  On our first anniversary, October 15, 2006, we went to Hawaii and were greeted by an earthquake and subsequent power-outage.  The highlight of the island-wide blackout was the several hours we spent sipping Big Gulp margaritas out of paper cups at this Mexican restaurant:

The next three years were much of the same.
October 15, 2007:  Brutal cold snap
October 15, 2008:  Wind, rain and hail
October 15, 2009:  Cold, damp, drizzly and miserable

And now we've come to October 15, 2010.   We're celebrating our fifth anniversary with a weekend getaway, just in time for the massive nor'easter moving its way up the east coast.

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

As I was mentally preparing myself for the torture that is Back-to-School night, Matt sent me this email (forgive the vulgarity, but sometimes it just works too well):

"Capitalization Matters: It's the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

I'll finish writing about my Magical History Tour soon. In the meantime...

When I was out shopping the other day, I bought Matt a new shirt. They had plenty of pink shirts, but I made sure to avoid those. I told Matt about this later.

Matt: "Real men wear pink, Rachie."

Me: "But you don't own anything pink."

Matt: "Exactly."

Ready for their close-ups

Barley spent some of his time in Minnesota playing with his cousins and his cousin/uncle (things get confusing in the dog world). We took them all to an amazing dog park in Eden Prairie, a city that is, apparently the best place to live. While the dogs were running around the dog park, Matt was interviewed by CNN Money for the video accompaniment to the story. Based on the Baltimore Orioles t-shirt he was sporting during the interview, it's no wonder his footage landed on the cutting room floor:

Barley, on the other hand, is clearly the star of the video. Pay close attention from the :59 mark to 1:04. I'm biased, yes, but I'm pretty sure he steals the show.

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

While we were in Minnesota, Matt's mom gave us a bunch of mementos to take home. I know I'm biased, but I think young Matt was about the cutest kid ever. Cases in point:

1. We were reading a story that young Matt wrote in elementary school. On the dedication page, he wrote, "To Matthew. Because he rote [sic] this book."

2. Another story young Matt wrote was called, "My life as a pickle jar." Even today, picky eater Matt hates even the smell of vinegar, so it shouldn't have been surprising that young Matt wrote, "I smell like vinegar, so everyone hates me." When Matt read that, he said, "A-ha! Even then I knew."

3. But my favorite moment was when Matt read some sort of science experiment that young Matt was probably quite proud of. He got to the conclusion at the end and proclaimed, "Well, duh, dumbass."

Canadian Circle of Life

Matt returned from his annual fishing trip to Canada last week. As soon as he came home, he showed me this video. For the two people we know who haven't seen it, here you go:



Both fish survived the ordeal. Sadly, the walleye was too small to eat, and the pike was too big to keep, so both were thrown back. And the circle of life continues.

While the picky eater is away...

Matt's been out of town for the last week or so. While I miss him terribly, I do enjoy the opportunity to make meals that he would never eat. Take a recent dinner, for example: butternut squash and mushroom casserole. Here's what I imagine Matt would say if he was asked to eat this dish:

"Squash? I don't eat gourds."

"You know mushrooms are a fungus, right?"

"You could just use cardboard if you run out of those whole wheat noodles."

A cultured smarty pants

I'm not proud of this, but back in college, I wasn't sure if Matt was the one for me. He wasn't doing as well in school as he could have (a fact that he is the first to admit), and I always imagined marrying a cultured smarty pants. I shared these feelings with Matt, and he said, "But that's you. And you would drive you crazy." Truer words were never spoken.

Now, nearly a decade later, Matt is the first person in our little family to earn a Master's degree. I'm so proud of him that I'm even enjoying the fact that he keeps rubbing it in my face. In fact, reminding me of his academic success has become part of Matt's daily routine. "Well, I would do the dishes, but I'm the one with the Master's degree, so..." And at this rate, I'll never win another argument: "I mean, who should we listen to? The person with the Master's degree or the one with just a little Bachelor's?" I think the worst is the faux pity: "Don't worry, Rachie. You'll get your Master's, too...someday."

What a cultured smarty pants.

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

Matt and I are getting some new appliances, so we're taking the old ones to our local Habitat for Humanity ReStore. I was looking through the list of accepted donation items to see if we have other things to give away...

Me: "Matt, they also accept tools."

Matt: "Great! We can get rid of you. Bazinga!"

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

Matt: "I think I know why you're an English teacher."

Me: "Oh, really? Why?"

Matt: "So you can correct whoever you want."

Me: "That's not true. And it's 'whomever.'"

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

Matt is not a fan of horses. I grew up loving horses (and with a mother who adored them), so I've never understood his aversion. While watching the Preakness yesterday, Matt finally put it into words I could understand:

"Horses are like way-too-attractive women. From far away they look really nice, but up close they're just stupid and disappointing."

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

In honor of Matt's birthday today, I have to share another installment in my "Matt's funny email of the day" series. Matt has a theory that certain animals portray specific personalities. For this reason, he despises the alpaca. "They're just so smug," he says.

So it's fitting that on his birthday, I honor him by sharing this most recent email of the day (the subject of which, by the way, was "This is what I'm saying"):

Nuggets of Matt Brilliance

This is an old one, but I was reminded of it again this morning.

On Easter Sunday, Matt and I were unable to find a parking space when we arrived at church. "All these darned fair-weather fans," Matt grumbled. "They took all our parking spaces."

It reminded me of what my dad used to say every Sunday when he picked up his bulletin: "Get your program. You can't know the players without a program."

More from the master builder

For months--maybe even years--I had been complaining about Matt's nightstand. It was an old piece of Target or Walmart do-it-yourself furniture, and it looked awful next to the rest of our bedroom furniture. He must've gotten tired of listening to me complain, because he built the most beautiful piece of furniture in our home:

And it's already right at home, complete with a laptop, textbook, and all sorts of other things cluttering it.