Pearls of Teenage Wisdom

A few of my students recently participated in a contest sponsored by the Washington Post in which they wrote humorous similes. Some of them were absolutely awful. Others were nothing less than pearls of teenage wisdom:

Men are like expensive shoes: You want them, you need them, but you can't have them.

Women are like video game systems: You turn them on, you turn them off, and and when they malfunction, you just upgrade.

Teenage boys are like dogs: we chase girls and sometimes catch them, but we never know what to do after that.

Curling Craziness

In what appears to be a never-ending stream of Scandinavian influence on American culture, curling frenzy is sweeping the nation--pun very much intended. Maryland is no exception.

I've recently learned that some of my Swedish relatives have been curling for decades. This may explain why I took so naturally to it when we tried our hand at curling last weekend:
Yes, I'm really sliding across the ice. Yes, I look like an Olympic champion. And, yes, I did fall on my face when both rocks slipped out of my hands and my feet slid backwards.

While Matt lacked my Olympic form, he did manage to stay upright the entire time.

Curling was definitely harder than it looks. Unlike most other Olympic sports, however, Matt and I agreed that we could probably master it in about a week...two tops.

Valentine's goodies

I've never been huge fans of Valentine's Day. I always thought of it as a holiday fabricated by Hallmark to bridge the commercial gap between Christmas and Easter. But this year, I caught a bit of the Valentine's bug. Thank goodness for crafts and cooking to give me a healthy outlet.

I made Matt a cookie bouquet, complete with a few real flowers for good measure.

Matt and I also tag-teamed on Valentine's Day dinner. We love cooking meals together, so this Hallmark holiday gave us a great excuse to spend some quality time in the kitchen. Matt made some delicious salmon, and I tried my hand at chocolate-covered strawberries.

Hallmark should invent a few more holidays.

"We got cabin fever..."

After what seems like days stuck in the house, I've run out of things to clean, I feel like I've read everything (though it's only been two or three books), and I've had this earwig of a song running through my head:



It's no wonder that we can't go anywhere. Our region just isn't equipped to remove this kind of snow (of course, as I say this, Matt is out driving to "test the roads"). These are some images from the most recent blizzard, which added a foot or so to the snow piles that were already on the ground:


Perhaps because we're eternal optimists (or, perhaps because, like all native Minnesotans, we're more than a little masochistic), Matt and I are still taking time to enjoy the winter wonderland.

We could grumble about how much taxpayer money is being lost while the federal government is in a state of emergency (not taking into account the energy being saved and the telecommuters who are still working...but I digress), but we're perfectly content to make the most of these days off. We also know that fewer Marylanders on the road is never a bad thing.

A Blizzard in Pictures: before, during and after

Snowstorms in Maryland always make Matt and me laugh. We've realized that we're snow snobs, and we love watching the ridiculous ways our adopted homeland prepares for and deals with snow. This most recent blizzard was no exception.

Before...

All local stores were cleared out of milk, butter, eggs (the clerk was using a dustbuster on the empty shelves)...
...and bread:
This was a good 24 hours before the first snowflake appeared. We like to watch Marylanders freak out when the stores are out of dairy products and bread. They get angry at the stores and their fellow shoppers (including those jerks from Minnesota in the next aisle, laughing at them).

During...

While the snow falls, we feel like we're back in Minnesota. The muffled silence of a new snowfall reminds me of sitting in my front yard in my snowsuit.

Strange as it may seem, Matt and I really miss the snow. I bought this snowflake for our kitchen window when we first moved here to remind me of winters at home. I haven't needed it much this year.

We've had a great time playing in this most recent snow. We did some modified sledding and buried each other in the snow in our parking lot. I buried Matt up to his neck while a plow was driving by (nowhere near his head; safety first). "You might not want to stay there," the driver said. "Oh, really?" Matt asked. It's hard to be a sarcastic snow snob when just your head is sticking out of a 30-inch pile of snow.

Matt also built a snow fort for Barley. Right, Matt. "For Barley."

Barley was not nearly as excited by the snow as we were (and he was terrified of the fort). When over two feet of snow falls all over your bathroom, life is not easy.

Fortunately for us, Barley is always cute, even when wrestling with the elements:



After...

Once the snow has fallen, we get a you're-not-in-the-Midwest-anymore reality shock. I've often said that Maryland employs the "wait until it melts" method of snow removal. It's cute at first (and it's an added bonus when one Minnesota snow day becomes a week off of school), but it gets old in a hurry when roads are left unpaved and mammoth snow piles fill half the parking lots.

Our own neighborhood has been only partially cleaned. Snowplows don't clean back roads here like they do in the Great White North. The mayor of Baltimore even urged residents to clean their own roads with their shovels and snowblowers. The result is an extremely bumpy (not to mention hazardous) ride home:


As I write this, another winter storm is headed our way. Poor Maryland. I love you, but you're no Minnesota.

Grammar Violations

Each week, my students work on a new "grammar violation," i.e., the little grammar bugaboos that drive me insane. We spend the early parts of the year on its/it's, everyday/every day, etc., but we get into more nitpicky grammar later in the year.

Do you know the difference between these words? Do any stump you?

Less/Fewer
Further/Farther
Real/Really
See/Seen
Anxious/Eager
Between/Among
That/Which
Convince/Persuade
Aggravate/Irritate
Imply/Infer

Busses and Lunches

Growing up, I remember my parents saying that school schedules revolved around "busses and lunches." Every time one or the other would disrupt an otherwise-normal school day, one of them would say with a harumph, "Busses and Lunches." I always thought they were ridiculous.

Once again, I've been proven wrong. There's a massive snowstorm headed for Baltimore tomorrow. It's supposed to roll in around the middle of the day, dropping a foot or more. I've heard that our school system may close preemptively. Why close schools before a flake even appears? Why not wait until the snow comes? Naturally, "busses and lunches."

Apparently, once students are in the building, we're legally obligated to provide them lunch. Our last lunch shift doesn't end until 45 minutes before the end of the day. It's easier to close schools for an entire day than worry about how to feed (or not feed) 1800 people. Lunches.

And if you want to close a high school early, you have to wait until the busses can return from picking up and depositing all the elementary school children. In a school system as large as ours, there may not be time to coordinate all the pick-ups and drop-offs before the snow really gets heavy. Busses.

As of this posting, school is on as scheduled. Stay tuned.

Update: As of 5:00 Friday morning, schools are closing two hours early. Let's see how well they turn this huge cruise ship around!