I know I'm not that old. I'm young, really. Today, I just feel ridiculously old.
I was in line at Costco this afternoon, and an old woman with her even older mother were in front of me. I like to cart snoop, and I saw Ensure, Depends and something else that only old ladies buy. The "young" one realized she forgot something, pointed at me, and said to the older one, "If I'm not back when it's our turn, let this lady go in front of us." This lady?! I'm not a lady! I'm a girl! "Let this girl go in front of us!" "Let this person who doesn't buy Ensure go in front of us!" Then, I looked down and saw Fiber One bars and bean salad in my cart. I am old.
I went next door to the liquor store after that. A kid who didn't look like he was old enough to drink asked if I needed help finding anything. I swear his voice cracked when he pointed me toward the Octoberfests. When it was time to check out, I looked at the sign that says "We card under 30." I reached for my ID, and the prepubescent clerk just looked at me. I am old.
Ordinarily, those things wouldn't bother me too much. But I've been thinking lately about my upcoming birthday. Rebecca says it's the last time I can honestly tell people I'm turning 29. I say, life is slapping a really sticky band-aid on my arm. Just rip it off! Skip this whole 29 thing and let me turn 30 and get it over with already.
9 comments:
When you stop back in Minnesota, you'll have to go to MGM where they card everyone--except me!
I sort of remember 30. I'm sure I was at Jefferson that time around. It's amazing how the years start to flow together. When did a particular event happen? Usually I can figure within ten years one way or the other.
I cannot believe that it's 29 years. I have to stop and ponder all of this. And, by the way, her reference to "lady" meant your deportment, not your age! :-) M
I had a very similar "lady" experience at the YMCA a couple weeks ago. I was swimming daily before the wedding and became "friends" with the young lifeguard. She has purple/blue hair that is all spiky and fun. She had noticed my daily trips to the pool and encouraged me to join the "100 mile club" (after I swim 100 miles, I get a t-shirt: woo-hoo). She recounted to me that she had noted to herself 'hey, that LADY is here swimming like every day; she should join the 100 mile club.' The shock of her thinking of and describing me as a "lady" as opposed to a "girl" was painful. I thought about it for a number of days. Yikes. For so long I thought "girl" was annoying because it assumed immaturity... now "lady" is scary because it's not "girl."
Well "ma'am," you might be feeling old, but I can tell you that your husband, and the rest of us on Sunday felt very young. We used an entire tub of cookie dough, made 1 giant cookie, and then ate it all. We are awesome.
Wah wah, boo hoo...you knew this was coming! Enjoy that 29th year because from what I hear, your 30s are the best times of your life! And if you're really feeling depressed on your birthday, you can always think of me - who will actually be turning 30. And for the record, I never get carded.
I don't suppose it makes you feel better, but I buy Fiber One bars too, and I'm 26. I also have grey hairs that mock me in my mirror, and I realize that most of the Junior Rangers I get at work are younger than my favorite pair of flip-flops I bought freshman year of college.
I used to buy Ensure. Jeez. I was 29 a long, long time ago.
Ok I'm just going to say it - I've got chin hairs! Now THAT's old lady.
Just so you know... I have loved every minute of my 30s--age wise anyway. It doesn't get anything but better from here!
How was the bean salad BTW? :)
I laughed so hard when I read the line about you having Fiber One bars and bean salad!
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