When I was younger, I remember saying "I'm sorry" to just about everything. My dad would tell me to stop apologizing all the time, to which I would reply: "I'm sorry, Dad." I would even apologize when I bumped into a wall or other inanimate objects. It was a disease.As I grew older, I made a point to stop apologizing all the time. Lately, however, I've noticed that the old habit is back. I've been thinking about this ever since Maria's recent post.
Matt came inside earlier today and asked if we had an ice scraper in the house. "No, I'm sorry," I said. Why? Did I intentionally leave the ice scraper in the car?
Last night, Matt asked if we had any ketchup. "No, I'm sorry," I said. Did I know he would need ketchup and maliciously not purchase any the last time I went to Safeway? Of course not.
And the list goes on. Maybe all this apologizing is a nasty case of "Minnesota nice;" maybe it's female nature to apologize when things aren't exactly perfect; maybe it's just a habit. Regardless, I'm devaluing myself with each needless apology. So from this day forward, I'm issuing a self-imposed "I'm sorry ban." Sorry, Matt. Shoot! Okay, starting now.
5 comments:
Excellent post. I do it a lot too. Like it is my fault that everything is not perfect!
You might want to read this: http://mariaandkevin.blogspot.com/2009/01/basketwives-perspective.html
and this:
http://basketwives.com/blog/?p=111
They're kind of related. ;)
I do this all the time. I'm very conscious of it, though, because once upon a time, someone told me, "You always apologize for things you have no control over. Save your apologies for when you've actually done something wrong; it will mean more." I'm not very good at heeding that advice, but it often comes to mind when I'm apologizing for something dumb.
This is a clear cut case of Minnesota Nice. And, I agree, we need to step up, take charge, and REFUSE to say we're sorry to something that wasn't our fault in the first place. I can't count how many times I've walked toward someone on the sidewalk, I go left and they go the same way, then I go right and they do the same, so we're doing the "sidewalk dance," and I ALWAYS say sorry. For what? Not asking them to dance first?
PS - Another thing we need to exclude from "Minnesota Nice"...eating lutefisk.
I also think "I'm sorry" has expanded into where people used to say other things like "excuse me." It also seems to be used in place of something longer like, "I feel bad that you didn't have any ketchup when you needed it."
Perhaps we need another phrase such as the ubiquitous "whatever" which the kids love to toss out whenever. Anyway, I'm sorry for having taken up so many lines.
That's awesome that you recognize it so you can STOP!
Also, you know what drives me crazy? When people (typically women) ask permission to order food at a restaurant. Can I have a salad?
I always make a point to say, "I would like...."
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